so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
