i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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