Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
