Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
