that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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