Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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