Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
