If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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