The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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