it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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