But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
