I feel great
I just peed on a car
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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