At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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