Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
