Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Life is so much better after having sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
