Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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