I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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