Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize