I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
