Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize