i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
