OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Come on in and take your pants off
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