Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
