I heard we made out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize