I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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