i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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