i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
