I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
