Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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