me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
