Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
