I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
