I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
