Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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