I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
