there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
