Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
