I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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