just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
