Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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