Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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