i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
