why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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