Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
