Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize