Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize