Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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