My nipple is on Facebook.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
