i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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