Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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