at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
