I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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