wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize