I only kidnapped one of them. chill
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
