I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
