we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
