Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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