Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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