One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
